She asks herself..

Page updated January 18, 2021:

At the start of this project, I asked myself several questions (see original post below) about finding stability and committed community as a single, unmarried, young-ish female. I wanted to find these things outside of a workaholic financial-ladder-climb or long-term romantic relationship. I wanted to look forward to a home beyond one-year apartment leases, beyond a revolving door of roommates, and independent of waiting for the “right” person to “pick me too” as a life partner.

I had had my portion of upheaval, strain and adversity family-wise, job-wise and housing-wise throughout the formative years of my twenties. When upheaval, strain and adversity were occurring simultaneously in all three realms of my life, it did not fail to impact my mental, emotional and spiritual health. For many of those years, I organized my life-outlook and plans one year out, at most; planning depended heavily on anticipated on my housing situation (cost and location). I rarely, if ever, “looked forward” beyond a lease; I was hustling, weathering the present conditions and commitments as best I could. How did I survive those years? Jesus Christ brought me through, thank God, and it was hard. Those challenging years tilled the soil of my deep, perhaps intense, desire for a home, for roots and for stability beyond the standard cultural defaults of biological family, romance or professional prestige that regularly eluded me.

After I attended the first annual Rhode Island Black Film Festival in 2018, I found myself inspired by the life story of “A Raisin in the Sun” author, Lorraine Hansberry. For the “first time in forever” (lol), I looked forward to life beyond one year, beyond even 5 or 10 years. I also began to consider my narrative and my hurdles with regards to housing affordability, land ownership, homeownership, stability and generational wealth through the lens of larger, intersecting communities beyond myself including:

  • African Americans* (*I refer to myself as African American here to identify with my particular heritage within the African diaspora)
  • Millennials
  • Single people with less anticipation of partnering or marrying in the near future
  • Renters who cannot afford to buy in their current area of residence
  • People who do not have a sturdy, healthy biological family lifeline–for one or several seasons–as they are trying heal, grow and set down roots on their own.

This site is a documentation of my journey to a home in the country that began nearly three years ago. As of today, January 18, 2021, “This is the record of the steps I am taking toward the possibility of daydreams becoming reality and much much more.”


Original post May 31, 2018:

Is there another way to stability beyond the ‘conventional’ tracks of work and marriage? 

Are the financial-ladder-climb or long-term romantic relationship the only paths we have in life toward putting down roots?

Is there another way to explore commitment outside of these most familiar landscapes?

When can I finally think beyond survival to cultivating and connecting for the long term?

As an unmarried, minority, millennial female with a limited income, these are the questions I am asking these days. As the home–errr condo prices in my cosmopolitan of choice continue to rise, the idea of owning in the city, and one day staying put, feels ever more elusive.

I am A.M. Wilsonne,
a B.A.M.F.–
ehem! which means a…
B: Black
A: American
M: Millenial
F: Female

…who has had a dream since the wee ages of pre-teenhood

to one day live in a log cabin in the woods.

Years later, and over a decade after relegating that whimsy to the last of my priorities
and the figments of my imagination,
I’ve woken up! And revised my task list.

This is the record of the steps I am taking
toward the possibility of daydreams becoming reality

and much much more.

 

Copyright © 2018 A.M. Wilsonne

Originally posted May 31, 2018 at my poetry site, lalouvalalune.blog

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